The cat is driving us insane.

Yeah, yeah. I know: That’s what I get for owning a cat.

And he is an evil mastermind, who delights in bullying the dog and destroying my wife’s (only my wife’s, never my) things.

But this is something new.

He’s taken to clawing furiously at the glass. He’s never done this before, so it’s come as a complete surprise to us.

And he only does it at night. When the glass reflects in instead of out.

Which means he sees “another cat,” views it as an invasion of his territory, and is trying to drive it off.

This other cat never leaves, though. It simply stands up on the other side of the glass and mimics him. It mocks him.

There is no explaining to my feline fiend that this ghost-cat does not exist, that it is an illusion, that it is not an incursion on his territory. Unlike the birds and the squirrels he sees through the glass during the day, Ghost-Cat is a shade, a phantom.

My intelligent, clever, criminal mastermind isn’t smart enough to understand he casts a reflection on front-lit glass.

So he yowls and complains and attempts mortal combat with the intruder. But Ghost-Cat gives no ground.

The scritch-scritch-scritch on the windows is making us crazy.

We’ve tried to stop him. We’ve turned the squirt bottle on him, which drives him away temporarily. But as soon as he catches sight of Ghost-Cat, he’s back again.

My wife has even scooped him up and carried him outside to show him there is no one there.

But this has only intensified the mystery for him. How, he wonders, could Ghost-Cat have vanished like that? He races from window to window, from door to door, searching for the strange invader, desperately wishing for those same magical cat powers that allow the adversary to vanish in the night. How much more villainy could he commit if he could just disappear like Ghost-Cat?

Something has to be done. Curtains maybe. Or bricking over all the windows in the house. Or just going to bed when it gets dark, so there are no lights on to cast a reflection.

But whatever it is, it needs to be done soon. Please, Ghost-Cat, leave us. Find some other feline to torture. Our very sanity depends upon it.

That is not Ghost-Cat’s way, though. He exists to torment.


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