Memoirs

Childhood is a time of adventure. And if you’re a kid with an overactive imagination who would grow up to be a novelist, it’s a time of outrageously outlandish escapades that would drive your parents insane.

In the tradition of Jean Shepherd (whose novel In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash inspired the beloved film A Christmas Story) John presents a look back at his childhood in the 1970’s – when it seemed perfectly possible for a kid to be a real superhero, an orphaned space alien, a pro quarterback, and more. Eight short mini-memoirs relate John’s incredible true-life adventures in hilarious detail for only 99 cents each. OR get the whole collection in a single volume, Legend in my own Mind for only $4.99.

Legend in my own Mind: The Incredible True-Life Adventures of a Kid Growing up in the 1970’s (Collected True-Life Adventures)

legend cover lo-resAll eight of John’s outrageous adventures as a child – sneaking out of the house to be a superhero, attempting to catch Santa Claus on Christmas Eve, chasing the family dog through the principal’s house, and more – in a single volume! A savings of 37% over the price of buying them separately!

Click here to get Legend in my own Mind for Kindle.
Click here to get Legend in my own Mind in paperback.

 

“Secret Identity: My True-Life Adventure as a Superhero” (True-Life Adventures #1)

Secret Identity Cover Lo-res

What happens when an eight-year-old boy decides he wants to be a superhero like the ones he sees on TV? Hilarity! After reading Alvin Fernald, Superweasel by Clifford B. Hicks in third grade, John was certain he too could become a caped crusader.

In his debut comical mini-memoir, John explains his childhood obsession with masked defenders of All That Is Good and True and how he was determined to sneak out of the house one October night in 1976 to join their ranks.

“If you’ve ever been a kid or had a dream, then ‘Secret Identity’ is a story for you.”

Click here to get “Secret Identity” for Kindle.

“Naughty & Nice: My True-Life Adventure with Santa Claus” (True-Life Adventures #2)

naughty and nice Cover Lo-Res

Every child adores Santa Claus. Every child dreams of catching him in front of their Christmas tree on Christmas Eve, watching him work his magic, and maybe even taking a ride in that famous sleigh.

John was not every child. While every kid dreams of meeting Kris Kringle, John was obsessed. Every year on Thanksgiving Day, he would begin planning mad schemes to catch Santa Claus in the act, determined he would at last meet that jolly, old elf in person. And on December 24, 1977, this annual ritual would finally pay off. . . .

“This is today’s version of A Christmas Story.”

Click here to get “Naughty & Nice for Kindle.

“Domestic Disturbance: My True-Life Adventure with Sibling Rivalry” (True-Life Adventures #3)

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Young children adore their parents. How they feel about their siblings is another matter. John had an idyllic life until the day they brought him home. The arrival of a Little Brother turned his tranquil existence into a non-stop competition for their parents’ attention, for control of the television on Saturday mornings, and to determine once and for all who was the superior brother.

In this volume, John turns his absurdist pen to reminiscing about how he and brother Dave teamed up to dominate the neighborhood in baseball, battled over toys at home, and managed to organize an all-out playground war between the fourth and third grades at school just to establish which brother was greater. A quick read, “Domestic Disturbance” will convince you that “brotherly love” is truly a complicated phrase.

“. . . an affectionate and insightful look into American daily life.”

Click here to get “Domestic Disturbance” for Kindle.

“Swing and a Miss: My True-Life Adventure with Baseball” (True-Life Adventures #4)

Swing and a Miss Cover lo-resBaseball – America’s pastime. The most idyllic, traditional sport of them all. And the source of unending frustration for one boy.

In his fourth mini-memoir, John turns his satirical eye to the love-hate relationship he had with baseball in his youth. From the triumphs of dominating the neighborhood in backyard games to the ignominy of riding the bench in Little League; from fear of the ball to being unable to hit it, John tells the story of how a boy in the Seventies did battle with that most All-American game. “Swing and a Miss” is about the things our fathers teach us, our struggles to learn them, and the elusiveness of the big dream of becoming a hero.

“Phythyon is developing a style most memoir writers only wish they could produce. Every kid has had these moments.”

Click here to get “Swing and a Miss” for Kindle.

“Rocketed to Earth: My True-Life Adventure as a Space Alien” (True-Life Adventures #5)

rocketed to earth Cover lo-resIn 1977, a nine-year-old boy saw the most amazing movie ever. To a child already obsessed with superheroes and adventure, Star Wars was the penultimate cinematic achievement of all time. Not only did he desire to see it again and again and again, it changed the way he viewed the world.

In this mini-memoir, John takes you on a guided space-tour through the science fiction of the late ’70’s (especially Star Wars), his mad quest for the right toys and gadgets, and his absolute certainty that he was not of this Earth, but rather an alien prince with an heroic destiny.

“Phythyon is a fine story-teller and he manages to get inside his ten-year-old self in a wonderfully entertaining way.”

Click here to get “Rocketed to Earth” for Kindle.

“Are We There Yet?: My True-Life Adventure on Road Trips” (True-Life Adventures #6)

are we there yet Cover lo-resThe family vacation. In the 1970’s, it was tradition to pack everyone into a station wagon and head off to see the sights, ending in some idyllic location, where all one’s troubles could be forgotten. John’s family vacations were never like that.

In this volume, John turns his satirical pen towards memories of hurtling down the Interstate towards Dayton, Ohio, and Kennebunkport, Maine, packed into the back of the car with his brother and his dog as they all fought for supremacy, and his parents threatened repeatedly to “pull this car over.” Join John as he relives trying to eat truck stop food, playing Travel Bingo and the license-plate game, and getting an unexpected lesson in the dynamics of air pressure.

“This was a wonderful read, and if you lived the family road-trip adventure when you were growing up, you might want to read it to your kids or grandkids.”

Click here to get “Are We There Yet?” for Kindle.

“Animal House: My True-Life Adventure with  Pets” (True-Life Adventures #7)

animal house cover lo-resPets are the perfect playmate for children. They’re also the cause of parental grey hair, especially when teamed with two boys looking for trouble.

In this mini-memoir, John takes a comical look back at childhood with three rambunctious Boxer dogs and one demonic cat. From one dog pursued by the police to another chased through the school principal’s lavish home, John tells the stories of how animals brought joy to children and old age to otherwise young parents.

“If you don’t get a few chuckles while reading this book, call the undertaker because your sense of humor is dead.”

Click here to get “Animal House” for Kindle.

“Gridiron Glory: My True-Life Adventure with the Dallas Cowboys” (True-Life Adventures #8)

gridiron glory cover low resIt’s not every ten-year-old who can direct his favorite team to the Super Bowl. Especially if a conniving Little Brother and the neighborhood bully stand in the way. In 1978, John overcame these obstacles to get all the way to The Big Game. But the biggest threat to winning a championship was himself.

In his eighth mini-memoir, John takes another comical trip back to the 1970’s, when football was a game of warriors, when his father taught him the religion of Ohio sports teams, and when his nefarious Little Brother tried to ruin everything . . . including a shot at gridiron glory.

Click here to get “Gridiron Glory” for Kindle.

 

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One thought on “Memoirs

  1. Pingback: Bringing Order: Approaching my Memoirs from Three Sequences | John R. Phythyon, Jr., Author

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